Friday, October 26, 2012

Story Snippet

Ophelia’s mom accepts her boyfriend into the family:
Deborah pulled Adrian’s chin to her shoulder and hugged him.  “You’re my son now and I will defend you as though I’d given you birth.”

Adrian sniffed, a tear pooling in the corner of his eye.  “Yes, Ma’am.”

“No, it’s ‘Okay, Mom.’”

“Okay, Mom.”  He lifted his face and smiled.

“Now that we got that settled…” she ran fingers through bushy blondness “…get a haircut, ya hippy.”


  1. Are we in Adrian's point of view? Try having us feel the tear sting his eye, instead. Put us deep in his skin and feel his pain.

    Glad you were able to turn comments back on.

  2. Thanks, Tia. Haven't decided on Point of View yet. So far, the first two books were in Ophelia's only. Then, I gave Adrian a few key chapters in Sweet Bytes. That will continue, but I haven't sorted it out yet. I'd really like to put at least one chapter in Bianca's Point Of View, because she finally comes full circle as a character too. I love Multiple Point of View, as a reader, but really getting it as a writer is challenging for me!

  3. What I do is I write the story entirely in the main character's POV and then go back and decide which parts of the story would be better told in the other character's POV. Then, I rewrite. Well, you know, Tia. Writing is only a tiny part of novel Creation. Actually, it's mostly *REwriting!* Anyway, that's the only way I've found to keep the POV's sorted out. Otherwise, and I think you've seen it, my POVs train-wreck on me.

  4. It is definitely the rewriting. Writing is the hardest part, but rewriting is the fun!

    And I hope you didn't mind my interjecting.

    I struggle with POV myself. In The Sevenfold Spell I found it confining, so in my Snow White story, I ended up writing from 4 points of view--from each party in two linked love stories.

  5. Four? Wow! You're a braver writer than me. Anyway, I'm just kinda tinkering with this story, as the series is tied up. So, it's not like I have a deadline to worry about!


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